Monday, May 28, 2007

Thinking of times past and present

Talk about frustrating things happening, I went to sign in and forgot what to use to sign in. Got that figured out (and wrote it down) and checked my links section and the link I thought I had put on was not there. Any directions on how to do the links, pictures, etc would be most helpful. I have been reading Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind" and watching her shows, one of the things in the book she was also teaching about in the last 3 shows. Wasn't called the same but the same it was......Wilderness Mentality: God says to do this but we think it is too hard. Okay now. What a thought that is when you think about it. God won't give us any more than we can handle although I had some serious doubts for awhile after the accident. We can "walk on water if we just get out of the boat". Well, after seeing her shows on this I asked myself if I got out of the boat and the answer is a resounding yes! I have been in and out of that boat several times in the past 2 1/2 years but I am out and am staying out. If Satan tells me it is too hard, I will shut him out according to the Bible and have already done so. I find the closer we get to God the more Satan attacks, but will let up if we tell him to in Jesus' name. It may only be for 5 minutes, but it works. I have been thinking of that boat and my experiences of the past 2+ years and I think my biggest setback was losing Jarrett and not the fact that I couldn't move my legs for 3 months. But I started with a toe movement and we cheered when I could move my left leg a half inch. Not far but it moved. I think I began to come alive in God again at that point. I also had to work at brushing my teeth and holding a fork. Jim had to feed me for weeks. I kept thinking my 3 year old granddaughter could do more than I could, but gradually it all started coming together. But I was still in the boat wondering why Jarrett was taken and not me. I don't wonder anymore, I know he is safe and happy with God and I know for whatever reason I am supposed to be here. The first time I made it all the way out of the boat was in Rehab and Mr. Gomez threw me out so to speak. He said "I am going to get you in the wheel chair" and since my legs still weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing my reply was "and you are nuts, nice but nuts". He then proceeded to get me out of that bed and in the chair! Hope was returning! Down to the exercise room and some exercises and massaging around the knees and scars every day. Little by little I got to the first step and the second and then the third. We counted the steps each day and each day there was at least one or two more. Finally I made it down the hall to my room and then went both ways to the exercise room. A very dear friend would bring in her Cockatoo (we bonded before the accident LOL) and from time to time some baby birds for me to see. My husband brought in my Solomon's Island Eclectus a lot and that along with Cathy's visits and encouragement I knew I was going home some day. 3 months later I was home. And back in the boat. But as I was progressing in counseling and reading I decided to get out of that boat for good and walk on that water always with Jesus. He has carried me far enough and for that I am blessed. Am I rambling? I hope not, I just wanted to share a part of that road since the accident and how blessed I have been with my Rehab people. Especially Mr. Gomez who told my husband recently when we visited that he never thought I would get as far as I had. While that conversation was going on I asked the girls what they did with the rest of the hall...........they were confused until I told them that I knew that hall was twice as long when I was relearning how to walk! I walked in that day we visited, with my walker, but I walked! I thank God for every inch I have progressed since and for the wonderful doctors He sent to me. I know that was God's doing, they literally put me back together. I am blessed in knowing that God never left my side.
May 25, 2007 11:20 AM

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